Saturday, July 04, 2009
{ Saturday, July 04, 2009 }
8.38 July 4th 2009.
My last post was in anger , alot has been happening .
I don`t wish to say what .
To gain something , you must lose something.
I gained something after loosing something , but i now lost what i gained and really hate it.
I hate going through all this stuff.
Gone through it so many times and yet i`m still so weak.
They say you`ll become stronger after getting hurt.
I got hurt too many times and i`m still weak.
On the happy note ,
i`m really proud of myself.
i`m paying attention in classes.
I did all my maths homework and handed it in.
I answer questions in mr.lee`s class.
i`ve made a time table on when i`m studying.
i`ve been occupying myself with tutions on my free days.
HAHA. guess i rlly need to prove people i can do it.
Sighs , it`s gonna be hard.
Save me , someone.
If only it was easy to forget and move on from everything that has been happening.
I admit it`s my fault , but if i can take the blame why can`t you?
It`s not entirely my fault and i`m sure you know that too.
One day , i`ll rise . i`ll be strong , and when i look back , i`d realize what a fool i was.
For now , i have never regretted knowing you , never did and never will .
You`ll always be a dear one to me , no matter how rude your words are ; i know you do care.
Even though u are busy ; you do care , i know you do.
You always push the ones who love you away afraid you`d fall for em.
Don`t be afraid ; cause i ain`t leaving. But i don`t know how to come back already.
After telling you off , if i return you`d be thinking hah , i knew she couldn`t last.
I want to show u i can, and you mean nothing. Putting up a fake smile will be hard ; but i have to do it.
To show you , that atleast one girl is diffrent. Poems after poems , it`s the only way i can express my feelings.
Hahks , Guess you can`t bother also.
Your busy life is more important to you.
But one day , you`ll be sorry that i`m no longer around.
Here`s something i wrote ;
All i ever wanted
was for you to look at me.
by the eye , and not whoever i am outside.
i hope it wasn't the looks,
nor that content of my purse.
i hope it was really me you wanted;
its you i need in my life
and i don't want you to go.
i can't live without you
and that i really need a you to stay by me.
I'm sorry I'm just demanding so much,
but really ; i need you.
the imperfections , healed with you.
Another one ;
late at night
i dreamt that you took my hand
and held it tight.
we walked by the beach
with the tides up high
hoping the sun will never rise.
Everything went well
till suddenly it became like hell
you told me all the lies
and saw the tears
that filled up my eyes
you broke my heart
Without a second glance
made my life so meaningless
but i'll nvr forget
the time we used to have
when you were my everything
when i realized it's all just a fantasy
i stopped thinking about you and me.
when things go wrong
i have to be strong
not going to wallow in self pity
I am going to be strong
It`s the only thing left to do , and the only thing I can do.
And the last ;
In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love.
The right song for me now ;
Enjoy.
INA - FALL.
I gave you all you desired
All that you needed
Boy, I provided
I let you into my head
Into my bed
And that's a privilege
I had your back at the answers
You took the dollars
I took the chances
Defended, battled and fought
Cuz I thought you really loved me
I don't know where to start or where to stop
No, but I know I am done
I've had enough
So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I'll be on the top just watching you fall
You said that you were the strong one
I was the girl
And I was the young one
I kept your feet on the ground
My head in the rounds I had you
You told me you were so grateful
I was with you
And I was so faithful
Stood by in all that you said
And all that you did
I loved you
I don't know how to act or what to say
But I know I am good
I'll be okay
And you fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I'll be on the top just watching you fall
I'll be on the top just watching you fall
So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You'll be sorry that I'm not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I'll be on the top just watching you fall
I'll be on the top just watching you fall.
